We are groomed to consume from the womb to the tomb We are subsumed by a screen, wretched, alone in a room I ain’t got nothing to say, I ain’t got nothing to do Just waiting for some sick pleasure to carry me to my doom All I got is this cash and I spend the shit fast Yeah I got some hoes but they all treat me like ass We traded structure for freedom, freedom to live amongst trash I must get higher and higher because this high doesn’t last Trading apotheosis for some tingly feelings on your penis I swear to God man, you people need Jesus All the shit we say, we don’t really mean it I’m with Mr. Clean, I wish for world clean, it’s time to clean up With a cold shower, and some pious antibiotics But none of those of that shit's enough to kill a virus A virus reigning like a tyrant inflicting mankind with its violence Maybe it’s time to meditate and revel in the silence Sick of all this nonsense Cannot feel my conscience All these little bitches wanna run their mouth and then cower before the consequence Don’t let me catch you on defense My friend, we must attack again When there’s nothing to behold resembling a soul it becomes evident that there is no rest, no peace in death, no big sleep when God’s an insomniac I hung my life on the towel rack All I wanna do is bathe in the freshwaters of serenity and truth until Christ comes back But more likely than that catch me trudging through sludges of my own marshland, motherfucker that’s Yak

Baby I’m a nobody Nothing you can learn from me All I got is booze and money Bet you think I’m fuckin funny Bet you think I’m just like you Maybe you’re nobody too But you don’t do the shit I do You can’t grasp the truth I spew When I come through I bring the rot mildew Feeling stone cold like a statue Yeah you got opinions but who the fuck asked you? All the shit you say is deja vu, deja entendu like Brand New So easy to see through, so feeble like bamboo and you’re cheesy too like fondue Gonna cut your ass down like a Zulu Who knew that Yak was getting money like a jew Put you in the dirt Like Lean I’ll make you hurt I don’t need no juice, no percs Unlike you bitch, I got worth Unlike you bitch, I do work While I’m chilling in my hearse I smell like a fuckin horse Ima make you look like borscht Bitch, I don’t respect you and why am I meant to when everything you invent is detrimental, your life is a rental, purely incidental, anything valuable is just accidental You speak my name but everybody’s saying “who?” I’m a nobody lurking about to come through I got you imitating like a cockatoo I must be incontinent cause I just shit on you

Now put your ear to the ground and tell me the sound of the ocean You screamed loud when I left you for dead but I couldn’t make out what you said I know you’re not real, you’re a manifestation of my guilt But I can’t help running my fingers through your hair, we can go anywhere but we’ll always be in this ocean It’s not my eyes that deceive me it’s my psyche that leads me to believe in these apparitions that define my reality And who the fuck are you to say what reality is I can feel her soft skin, what the fuck is realer than this, bitch? I know you’re jaded your soul is weighted and over-stimulated from the gravity of this anomaly some devil created I won’t pretend to understand what goes on inside you But I know you feel this ocean’s force the same as I do And in a way I don’t think I ever want to leave If I’m at home in this malaise then maybe this is where I’m free Where I’m free from the memories playing in a tape loop in my head as a threnody to my futility and this black tide of entropy It’s that melody you burned into me that’s possessed me, regret that’s been nesting Now an eternity with her is the only thing that has worth I’m sorry mother but I’m not coming back down to your Earth

Bitch I got that gloss Like teriyaki sauce I can’t tell right from wrong Bitch I disregard the law I’m a one man gang Cash hoes out like Andrew Yang Autocratic like Pyongyang I’m teriyaki, got that tang Yeah I got that glaze Call me Sweet Baby Ray’s My mind’s always in a haze Cause I’m at home in this malaise Let my hate marinate While I slay the fourth estate There’s nothing left to contemplate This hell was always just my fate Bitch I’m finna bake Sodium bicarbonate I don’t get baked I just get head on the first date Don’t hate I’m just the best at the worst game Bitch wait I’m finna pop off I’m finna levitate Posthaste I’m an Anglo so yeah I like my beans baked Might fuck around, raise the Japanese birthrate Might riff hard like Varg’s Key To the Gate My wallet’s enlarged like a prostate I’ve got these hoes interest like usury Welcome to my dungeon, this shit’s exclusory It’s like puberty, all this shit is new to me She used my meat like I’m a fuckin charcuterie Life ain’t quite what it used to be Shout out to my brothers in the struggle I ain’t gonna lie I’m a sinner til’ I die When I die I’ll burn in hell I’ll murder you there as well I’ve got chaos in my blood I’ve got hatred in my veins I don’t ever show no love I don’t ever feel no pain But I feel good I feel like a cracker should I feel nice, I feel right Salivating white light Choking on phosphorus bile Submerged in sulfuric shit Make this worth my while Look me in the eyes bitch You’re a slave to your brain My brain’s a slave to me Never wanted any fame But I live in infamy

If you open your heart to a demon they will seize it I will never be at ease until this evil’s defeated I got my reasons for believing that our Being is treason We never had time to recover after falling from Eden I never had time to alleviate while suffering deepened It’s just been season after season I’ve been searching for Jesus I’ve looked in every nook and cranny, in some corners I’ve seen him We never had time to recover after falling from Eden I can feel the guilt overcome my psyche Relapsing realizations that cripple my mind nightly Under the umbra I cry out to the almighty Preacher man says I’m loved but I feel like that’s unlikely Tried to self-medicate, wrote myself a prescription God knows I’m not a doctor, just a man prone to addiction Then I found another vice to eat my soul and keep me fried Found myself another ride another crime to pass the time I come alive at night when the purest part of me dies Subsist on crumbs of dopamine that subsequently subside Sublet my soul to demons that reside within my mind The price of rent’s become affordable ever since I resigned to the churning cyclical discomfort that defines every waking moment We’ve been racing through the sewers swimming in our filth like rodents Still have the audacity to consider ourselves “chosen” Hoping for a spring to blossom while we’re pissing on dead roses

If I was a lay theologian I’d have a loaded interpretation of a notion of Jesus and his reconciliation To forgive your mother as only a son can as the Son of God forgave another accident called Man I feel like we’ve been coddled and catered to for too long left us emaciated and intoxicated In the clutches of mother, meaning no harm, but no psalm can be learned from the skin of her arms And you carry on her disregard Like the art of corrupting your brethren with the bitterness you spend To leech and depend My mom said I always was no good at picking friends But God picks my friends I just pick how it ends Drift apart into apartheid play pretend Amended beginnings end again Drift apart untouchable and recompense Never to begin to end again And my mom held me in her arms and said Nothing to set me free nothing inside it I could’ve been dead but she made a life it doesn’t seem right to disrespect it A coddling that left me crippled, nothing against it Against time because it’s the hardest thing to digest Against me like a cement black rose in the barrel of a glock My mom taught me my only enemy is the flock Put my fist through a clock it’s my real nemesis Never to end never to envelop this spatial dimension where it’s eminent, we probably got God feeling Daedalus with our relativity shit You say you’ve fashioned wings, I wouldn’t mess with it, I’m not impressed with this We probably got God feeling like Daedalus We probably got God feeling like Daedalus As the play plays out it develops callousness We probably got God feeling like Daedalus It’s about time to go ahead and end this shit

I have no soul now I’m just a spirit I have no ears but I must scream so that the people can hear it Appeal to fear it’s the only thing Man can understand Once you fall off the cliff you’ll take my hand Problem is I already fell and slammed into the nether land Problem is we’re already damned We keep eating our own tail, its begun to taste so bland We all got pica, motherfuckers gnawing at time like sand Hard to swallow like the sludge you put in your lungs Hard to swallow like a Baphomet’s cum Someone ask God if we’ve always been this dumb My brain’s more fried than an egg on the Sun Belphegor’s real and there’s gotta be a way to undo his lobotomy Some way to escape this monotony, the same each day it plagues it rains The same each day mundane This plague it drains remains in pain sustain in vain I sustain in vain my brothers and sisters There goes Satan as a shooting star don’t miss her If God was real I would kiss her So sweet so tender like a whisper from a father figure Instead I'll just spit plasma like a blister Instead I let this liquor murder my liver Mindlessly scrolling through twitter Perceptions contorted like twister My face disintegrates in the mirror like a smoldering picture of Hitler Absence makes the heart grow bitter Asunder, split open All by ourselves

Minestrone, minestrone, yuh I’m eating minestrone with my homies Bitches know me, I’m never lonely, yuh Cause I’m eating minestrone with my homies This minestrone got me feeling so Italian Got me feeling masculine like a stallion We coming for that soup bitch, send in the batallion Might go crazy and add in some scallions I like the texture of the beans and the pasta Got my feeling so at peace like a rasta You say you don’t like it then we got drama You say it’s not good, you’re fake news like Jim Acosta

Hoes I got hoes I got hoes I got hella hella hoes I got hoes I got hoes but I only love my bros love my bros love brooos I love my bros love my bros

Lately I've been stuck in contrition Looking down at my feet but my hands still sinning I got demons and I keep fucking with em Sometimes I fear I am never forgiven Bring on the eschaton, let's go back to the beginning Wipe the slate clean, no more demons no dreaming About a glistening light that's gonna come into my life The resurrection of Christ, his hand clutching a knife Saying, "I bring not peace and I bring not strife Only a blade to cleave between fire and ice So that the lukewarm will no longer dance with the swine I got a gat and a nine, I'm the elixir of life." Until then I'll be creeping in the nighttime All I ever got is time All I ever speak is grime My actions are defined by an essence that is separate from the present, outside of dimensions, perceptions are twisted and unpleasant I keep confessing, but it's just a deflection, did I mention that I got some real troubling ontological questions? Without divinity all things are absent from direction The existence of perfection, a true Theosis in expression Without these things all meaning becomes lost, but take a look around and my piety goes soft I see a cross, I feel aimless shame upon a nameless rain hardening into frost I'm feeling gnostic plus the Pentecost bitch, I spit caustic rhymes, toxic to all agnostics All my haters demonic, all my women psychotic, and I'm always rocking peak optics

I can’t pray cause my voice is too flawed and raw I can’t confess because I’m too afraid of God Too afraid to live and too afraid to die Think I might find a crevice and just crawl inside I’ve got nothing to say and I’ve got nothing to hide I told you back me when you loved me that you’d hate me in time Yeah I had no reason to lie Take me back to the 3 AM nights in your car Clarity provided by the streetlights and the stars Now it’s too opaque and I can’t see who you are Maybe you’re an angel in demon’s skin to hide your scars Maybe I should stick to playing the guitar But I just spit fire like a Magmar I always take things too far Always on the hunt, crepuscular like a jaguar On the hunt for something realer than the skin Something I can feel at home in Cause I’m sorry honey but your pussy ain’t shit It’s just a grave in which I bury my dick skin

Funny how I keep acting surprised when I invite demons in and they start wrecking shit Funny how everything’s decaying but we still don’t understand what true wreckage is Revealed revelations tell us what it is to be zealous but we still have no leverage Stick a bandaid on the wound but just forget all about the seeping brain hemorrhage In the distance I can hear a clarion I can’t hear the angels cause I buried them Love suffering so much I might marry it Radiant yet silent like a Seraphim I’m barely there, who’s me? I’m barely him I’m swimming in a pool or doubt and regret, IOUs and unpaid debts To a collector I’ve never met a landlord behind the fence to guard himself against the decadence So don’t ask me for my reverence

I better sin quickly before karma catches up with me It’s so easy to live like this, entrenched in hypocrisy Constant violations of my ostensible philosophy Because I can’t gain piety from these things I’ve seen I can’t reverberate the meaning in the words I speak I can’t detach from bitter memories This love I felt was nothing but a sinister fallacious melody played by Shiva on a guitar fashioned from a walnut tree that carries its parasitic energy The rhythms unfold inexorably in an ineffable duality like an elegy in ecstasy, a threnody of our futility and our black tide of entropy This aforementioned melody has possessed me for 21 years of aforementioned bitter memories and jealousy of those who breathe in chaos breathlessly with no concern for things heavenly and through their unsteady bliss find a sort of transient ascendancy If I could pray it would be to forget the reality of heresy If I could pray it would be to the dove that was once named Mary If I could pray It would reverberate through me every second of every day Like the aforementioned false words I make with my chemically unsatisfactory brain Without the blessings of the deep caverns of the insane Just a dull, real fucking dull and numb pain in my skull Self-inflicted always I think the idea of free will was something God invented to make man feel better about himself Maybe free will itself is Godhood, self-help for those who help themselves And for those who can’t, we’ve got an overpopulated hell Above and below we’ve built a high rise we rot in like a cell There was no paradise lost, we just immediately fell An instantaneous instantiation of that thing we and I and you called hell And how vertiginous is this hell that we sculpted for ourselves How vertiginous is this hell that I sculpted for myself There was no paradise lost, we just immediately fell An instantaneous instantiation of that thing we and I and you called hell And how vertiginous is this hell that we sculpted for ourselves How vertiginous is this hell that I sculpted for myself

It’s nauseating and vertiginous To be on the precipice Of a crisis Eminent potentiality of the nightmare in my iris Manifestations of phantasmagoric lamentations that render me blinded An eyeless machine, lifeless as a virus Submerged in my own brain, my own encephalitis A psychosis to silence all things righteous and pious It’s nauseating and vertiginous To be on the precipice Of a crisis The sensation of the wind between my toes The thrill of being alone in the throes and thralls of consciousness An atavistic home A paroxysmal conviction that speeds and grows In the thrill of being alone to chaperone your soul’s cremation Spontaneous immolation and self-subjugation The inmost death and the great negation, becoming slaves to sensation Engorging our amygdala to celebrate it’s glaciation Sobriety is just a prism of suffocating self-awareness and fruitless creation A momentary lapse of unconsciousness realized by fears of stagnation In short, it’s all the same shit, and that’s what terrifies me Automation of automatons becomes motorized and renders autonomy paralyzed Baptized in the chrism of our new industrial God a child is mechanized In our technocratic theocracy this 12 tone song is harmonized Smoke in my eyes Until I can’t recognize life It’s nauseating and vertiginous To be on the precipice Of a crisis Watching your friends sprint face first off the cliff Seeing your sins omnipresent in them Trapped in a cycle impossible to unhinge To maintain a feeling we maintain this binge I’m sorry my friends I have failed you again After all drift aparts I have learned nothing yet My whole life I’ve been living like a Sunday in lent As my thumbs spit bile my phone drifts past 1% I write this verse now on a cheap paper towel with a pen On a table next to dead flowers I had bought for my girlfriend Listening to the sounds of the freeway at 4 AM Trying to remember when life turned into a dead end My mom said I always was no good at picking friends Maybe she was right cause God’s my only friend left And he’s about to walk out just like all the rest I’ve spent a long time dying but I’ll never be dead I’ll live on as the soil and the oceans instead Irreconcilable nihilists find the time to get bread But they can’t find the time to analyze the lies in their head Fuck em We were all shown the same love The truth is the redeemer and the truth is above The truth is in every single one of us But for some this love is just never enough And when your time is up Witness the unbeholdable face of God You have no concept of this at all Your ignorance is contained in this omniscience Your impotence is contained in this omnipotence But it is not contained in you We are the solids from the clarified butter Something I wouldn’t dare utter An apology as an apogee to forgive our mother For the sake of joining with our father But at this point I wouldn’t even bother I’m a lamb to the slaughter I am sons and I’m daughters I am the salt in your tears pouring into your wounds to remind you that you’re treading water I am the regrets locked away in your coffer I am naked and humbled I am stumbles and troubles I am the seventh trumpet playing as Earth crumbles I am afraid