certain memories have more impact than you would expect them to have. i long to recreate my past even though at the time i felt like shit. in the fall of 2012 things were a lot different. i abandoned doing what i should've been doing to spend time with the people i wanted to be. even though they never liked me that much i adored every single one of them. at night behind the football field trying my hardest to make conversation with the girl that i thought was the prettiest girl i had ever seen. i would always try to be around her, even though i don't think she really ever liked me that much. and i tried so hard to be one of them while i isolated my one real friend before he went away in pain. seemingly a lifetime of trying to fit in and the only friend i had left and made me feel even more alone.
i don't want to feel that way again. i just miss my friend.
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